Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina just did it. Senator John Edwards did it and he allegedly has a “love child” to prove it. Senator Larry Craig did it, pleaded “guilty” to a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge and then went into public denial.



In a simpler time and place, President John F. Kennedy did it with impunity and the press gave him a pass because that was the unwritten rule back in the '60's.  Similarly, FDR did it and so on and so on and so on. 

Governor Jim McGreevey did it and, unlike Larry Craig, has since embraced the sins of his past and publicly came out of the closet. Mayor Rudy Giuliani did it and then quickly left Gracie Mansion to move in with two gay men until the end of his mayoral term.

Governor Eliot Spitzer did it and resigned from office immediately. President Bill Clinton famously did it, denied it on national television and then capitulated publicly when then mounting evidence became overwhelming. 

 We all know what “it” is --- the breaking of the seventh commandment: "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery". Austin Cline of about.com has this to say about the 7th commandment:

 “This is one of the shorter commandments and probably has the form it originally did when written, unlike the much longer commandments that were probably added to over the centuries. It is also one of those regarded as among the most obvious, easiest to understand, and most reasonable to expect everyone to obey.”

Well, the list of politicians disobeying the 7th commandment is long and crosses party lines: Democrats: Bill Clinton, John Edwards, Jim McGreevey, Eliot Spitzer, Gov. Paterson, Mayor Villiaraigosa (L.A.), Mayor Gavin Newsome (S.F.), Gary Condit, Gary Hart. Republicans: Rudy Giuliani, Newt Gingrich, Larry Craig, Mark Foley, John Ensign, David Vitter, Robert Livingston, Don Sherwood.
 
Every single one of these lying, cheating politicians had a wife who was left to publicly flap in the breeze after the revelations. Generally speaking, these wives assumed the demur role of standing by their man. Jackie Kennedy Onassis did it and went on to become ‘Saint Jacqueline’ until the end of her life (despite the fact that she married Ari Onassis for alleged millions of dollars.)

Hillary Clinton did it and went on to become a U.S. Senator, presidential candidate and Secretary of State. Elizabeth Edwards did it and then sat in the confession booth with Oprah Winfrey.

From the June, 2009 issue of O:  
Oprah: “And now that I’ve read ‘Resilience,’ I see you already knew that your husband had an affair.”
Elizabeth: “I knew there’d been a night. That’s all I knew. And I’ve been around politicians long enough to figure there were a lot of people there’d been a night.”

The list of political wives standing by their man as he publicly confessed to cheating is long:

• Dina Matos McGreevey stood next to her husband as he proclaimed “I am a Gay-American” and proceeded to resign as Governor of New Jersey.

• Suzanne Craig stood next to her husband as he denied being a homosexual and proclaimed: “I did nothing 'inappropriate' in that airport bathroom.”
 
• Silda Wall Spitzer stood next to her husband as he confessed to being caught in a prostitution ring and resigned as Governor of New York; they celebrated their 21st anniversary last October.

• Wendy Vitter stood next to her husband as Senator David Vitter, R - LA, apologized for being linked to a Washington escort service; She went on to say: "David is my best friend. Some people said to me they wouldn't want to be in my shoes. I stand before you to say I am proud to be Wendy Vitter."

So the question always comes down to “why?” Why would Hillary Clinton and Silda Spitzer and Wendy Vitter and Elizabeth Edwards put up with the public humiliation that accompanied their husbands’ fall from moral grace? Many theories abound … family, security, power, fame, fear of the unknown, fear of being on one’s own, money, and finally … love.

Traditionally, the role of the long-suffering wife follows these women well into their senior years. It did with Eleanor Roosevelt and Jackie Kennedy Onassis and, so far, is being played out right now with Elizabeth Edwards. Mind you, there is life for these political wives ‘after the fall’:

• Hillary Clinton’s public image rebounded significantly after she stood by Bill and look where she has ended up. There are not-so-secret rumors of Bill Clinton still continuing with his extramarital affairs and Hillary just grins and bears it. Their marriage is whispered to have become “Bill and Hillary, Inc.” and she’s done just fine in standing by her man.

• Similarly, Silda Wall Spitzer was an accomplished attorney at Skadden, Arps who met her husband at Harvard law School. She is today a major figure in New York City philanthropy, having co-founded Children for Children, a not-for-profit organization promoting community involvement and civic engagement in youths.

• As for Elizabeth Edwards … she has published “Resilience” and continues to battle cancer while staying married to her husband and raising their young children. Her story is yet to be finished. But wait a minute … is martyrdom really the only path taken by these cheaters’ wives?

Just this past Sunday in The New York Times, Lisa Belkin penned an entire column to the contrarian idea of “Public Displays of Disaffection.” In her lead paragraph, she muses about the wives not taking the stand-by-their-side role: “So when Jenny Sanford broke the mold and dispatched her husband to face the cameras alone, we cheered. Maybe this time she'd leave him. Maybe there was hope for us."
 
The notion raised in Ms. Belkin’s opinion piece is that the mold of the cuckolded wife may have finally been smashed. Despite the martyrdom of Hillary Clinton, Silda Spitzer and Elizabeth Edwards, there are politicians’ wives who are not taking it.

• Dina McGreevey has divorced her husband and gone public with a tell-all book in which she describe her shock and shame to learn about the governor’s secret life along with the rest of us.

• Donna Hanover went very public about her disgust for Rudy Giuliani’s infidelity to her and literally threw him out of Gracie Mansion.

• Corina Villiaraigosa, wife of the Mayor of Los Angeles, filed for divorced just prior to his open admission of a dalliance with a second woman during his marriage.
 
I think there are lessons from this spate of politicians’ recent admissions of marriage infidelities:

1.)  We are entering a new era when spouses feel empowered to stay or go but will assert their right to have their own public identity.
2.) “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.”
3.) "Leave him before he breaks your heart."
 
In her recent best-selling autobiography “Audition,” Barbara Walters owned up to having an extramarital affair with Senator Edward Brooke in the ‘70’s. He was then the Senate’s only African-American and had promised to leave his wife for Ms. Walters. He never did leave his wife and Barbara Walters broke off the affair.

With all respect to Senator Brooke, who is the living legend today?
 
Sisterhood can be very powerful, indeed.